8 - Dispatch From a Mother-in-Law


The End




Empress Eleanor
The first time Jean and I went to Italy together, I wrote back home to her folks, thanking them for their part in making possible all the fun I was having.  












In my usual convoluted prose, I likened them to Augustus and Lidia*.  He - the Roman emperor who called himself just a citizen, and she - the emperor’s wife, who set standards of civilized behavior that we still use today.  The last thing I wrote to them those many years ago was, “Wish you were here.”  Charlie is gone, but Eleanor, at 93 is here with us - to fulfill that wish.



Muse for the media


















How lucky am I to have lived my life.  To have been born unto my own storied parents, then after losing them - to be able to call another “empress“ Mom - to have another lady able to steer, lead by example and most of all - flat-out inspire me - inspire all of us.  


Leading by example.




Infecting Smiles



















Her quiver of kind words and smile-tipped arrows always hits the hearts of those nearby - be they her kin, or the waitress or the complete stranger or the Head of State - or just an adopted son-in-law.






You've got to try this!

Let's try this.




Slowed not stopped.



Who?  How? Why?
While others her age sit home, bemoan the fate of the aged and ruminate on events long ago digested - she wants to try every new dish - and then insist everyone share it.  To see the Roman ruins, to learn about the Etruscans.  She wants to go down into the caves.  She wants to hear the music, ride thru the night to simply find out what’s out there. See the moon.  Cheer and dance.



1000 feet below Carrara




Legendettes Drill Team




She may need an arm to steady her, or legs to peddle her and she may forget what she can’t see or hear so well - but she is here.  And I am glad I got my wish.

- Son-in-Law Stew





Her loving family
*PS - Continuing the Kitto/Augustus family parallels may not be a good idea.  While I could paint myself as Tiberius, grandson Charlie II would then be Caligula, the mad Emperor that had to be popped off by his own guards; then great grandson Charlie III becomes Claudus who would get poisoned after having his wife killed.  And of course, Bill, as Agrippa, would have to be executed. 






Once her friend ... always.
THE Pisa pic
Travel together to know yourself.
Queen Nefertiti knee and Eleanor's

Birdlike appetite - Condor




7 - Dispatch From the Last Supper


Dateline Pisa:
Medieval Fair - Volterra 1398 AD

As we ponder our last long menu at our last historic site, we return to the conversation that mixes the two - Italian food and ancient history.  



Pizza in 1398?  With what?





It has become clear that food was not always so nice here.  Most of Italy’s ancient old sons (and old daughters) never tasted “Italian cooking.” 



Medieval Fare





Left to their own devices, the choices of the Italian cook would be about as varied as salt, olives, bread, and wine - plus what they could kill.












Spaghetti, as a major example, was a relatively recent import, not from Marco Polo’s visit to a noodle shop - but from the Moslems bringing in the durum wheat from Persia that would make hard pasta.  











Europe sent a few waves of Crusaders down south, and up came coffee, sugar, rice, dates, mulberries, almonds, coconuts, watermelon, bananas and citrus fruits (oranges, limes and tangerines) into today’s menus.



Modern Delivery to
Medieval Streets
Europeans were once so hungry for flavor that major wars popped up over the few boatloads of cloves, cinnamon and a couple of other items that started to leak in from the “Spice Islands” of Asia.  Those spices, I note, are mostly absent in Italy’s recipes. I imagine after a few months at sea in a boatload of the stuff, no Genoese, Venetian or any Italian sailor wanted to smell it ever again.


You want some sauce on that Spaghetti?  No tomatoes or peppers until Columbus “discovered” them while looking for water buffalo milk to make mozzarella.  Europe exported plague, cholera, syphilis, smallpox and the cross to the Americas - in exchange for corn, potatoes, tomatoes, bell peppers, chili peppers, vanilla, beans, pumpkins, tapioca, avocados, peanuts, pecans, cashews, pineapples, blueberries, sunflowers, squash, wild rice, quinine, vanilla and chocolate.  Oh, and tobacco - perhaps Montezuma’s real revenge.



As we plop down in a restaurant in an old palazzo on a piazza in Pisa. We ponder our plates.  






If we reject all pre-Columbus items on the menu, Bill’s pepperoni-peperoncini-parmigiano pizza pomodoro would be out.  My panini of pancetta and pecorino, gone too. Eleanor’s plate of panzanella and Jean’s polenta and penne pasta con pesto - nope. Chris couldn’t even sneak in the pile of pastrami much less a panacotta.








All that would be left is the bottle of prosecco and a couple of cold Peroni beers.  So while the piazza pulses Pavarotti’s Puccini from the nearby palazzo, we are happy to be eating our last supper in Italy today, and not way back then.

- Supping Stew



Pisa? Pizza? (Shrug)

6 - Dispatch From the Shrug

Dateline Lucca:



Italians have a well-deserved reputation for talking with their hands.  We all have seen the pinched fingertips turned up in front-of-the-face exclamation point - and the rude flip of the fingers out from under the chin. This is an Italian art form, an opera of pantomime, a libretto of punctuation - to be used with or without words.

"Sit here or there or on your thumb"
Italians used to stand outside phone booths to allow more room for the gestures - they now will pull over to the side of the road because they can’t steer while carrying on a cell phone conversation.  I once worked with an airtraffic controller of that extraction who would gesture, sometimes rudely, at aircraft miles away - even ones only on radar.  To test his hand/mouth connection, we once waited for a busy time to hug him from behind, leaving him free to use only the microphone button in his hand.  This was not a good idea.

"Some space please you little people."
After my few weeks of observation here, my favorite of these gestures is the Italian shrug.  A timeless move recorded since before photography yet still cutting edge.  From Caruso to the Prime Minister - whose recent scandal of partying with underage ladies - caused the papers to report a collective “Italian Shrug.”


"I'm no angel." 
To attempt this shrug, raise your chin and cock the head slightly with the eyes looking up, just over the head of your subject.  
 "I am 93, I can do what I want."
At the same time raise both arms about a foot ahead and off your sides, palms up, elbows more or less bent.  Place the thumbs and fingers cupped together. Keeping the wrists limp, raise the shoulders up toward the ears, chest out.  Make an exaggerated frown, raise the eyebrows as high as possible 
- slowly close the eyes and pout like a clown.


Then for extra points, add or soften the parts of the pose to provide the subtle options that allows this gesture to say so many things - from “I don’t know/who knows?” to “Alas, we all must accept the inevitable.”

"Proseceo, prosciutto - who cares?"
For example, just by opening the hands you say, “It has always been this way and it always will be.”  Looking down the nose at the asker says, “I don't know/I can't help."  

Wrinkle up the nose and you question the need for any questions - and the intelligence of the asker presumptuous enough to ask them.



This is a useful import we should adapt.  Use a mirror.  Practice.  Take a photo.  Send me your best shot and let’s see what meaning you can impart in Italian style.

- Signaling Stew
email: rodsdispatches@gmail.com
text: 650-224-3158

5 - Dispatch From Game 2


Dateline Torino:

“You couldn’t carry his jock” is a boy’s gym phrase to denote the relative respect one athlete has for another.  For the remaining days of World Masters Games, we leave the squalor of that boy’s gym and go to a respectable venue not even listed in the program - but no complaints. 

A private sports club with a nice volleyball court housed under a huge open-sided tent - with good lighting, a little breeze thru the walls, plus restaurant, bar and flush plumbing.

Officiating apparently didn't get the change and the first few matches were played with just 2 refs - making the scores questionable at times, and downright wrong on occasion.  The international rules had been changed making the USA a look a little lost when the score reached 25 to 24 and the Russians walked off the court.  The "win by two" rule had been amended - but our Legends have been reading more wine lists than rule changes.  And good wine it has been.

Vladimir - a golden translator
I noted that 2 teams from Russia were playing - one under the  banner of Tatarstan, which I think was last a country when Genghis Khan was alive.  

I found an English-speaking member of their team to ask about this, but he was not allowed to talk to the MEDIA alone and would only translate for his coach - who poked my chest as he bellowed his independence like an evil extra in a bad Cold War movie.  The translator did later admit that he was actually from Moscow - the home of the other Russian team.  Hmmmm?

Brazil and USA - Friendly Rivals
Their strategy worked, with the “Tatars” taking the Gold, the strong Latvian team the Silver and ... after long discussions, additions and subtractions of the complicated points scoring formula, the USA took the Bronze in a tie with Brazil.  This turned into a party as the American players started putting the medals onto the popular Brazilians - many of which had become friends from years of international matches.

Legendary Wall

World Games Medalists Again
As the games wound down, more wine and food and acknowledgment of how special it is to be able to participate in such an event - but more so to be in a group of old guys still able to join together to share the playing of such a physically punishing game - a game they all love.

It has been 40+ years since I could tolerate jumping on a hard surface, and almost as long since I could hit at the net. So I am like nearly every other man in the Legend's age group - "we can't carry their jocks."  I was fortunate to eat, drink and even sing with them, watch some great sport and sportsmanship - and when it would help ... carry their balls.


- Supporter Stew.




Heat of Battle

Legendettes put up a cheer

Hug for a Winner
Legends Mascot with Her Son and Her Medal

After action action - the Legendettes
Signing the Team Ball